Being Fat Shamed

I've always struggled with my weight since I was in my teens. This goes hand in hand with medication that I have to take daily to control my asthma. Personally, I am ok with it and I have accepted however, it doesn't mean I have completely don't care about my weight, I try and maintain a healthy balanced diet along with exercise to ensure I don't run into any more health concerns and also as every body is different I am built in a way that is more curvier and some may say 'not the normal' body type.

I'm writing this post as I was angry about what happened to me a couple weeks ago whilst on holiday. Getting into a bikini and going for swims and laying on sun decks should be a relaxing and fun thing to do, however, for me it does come with a certain dread with me thinking 'what the best way to hide my tummy?' or shall I wear a longer beach dress to cover my thighs?' these questions always come up when going away. I mean I know what I look like, I know what could be improved but then I think why should I change my body to please others or give in to their expectations? As long as I'm healthy and not have any health risks coming from my weight then what is the actual problem? I guess its to do with fitting in with the 'normal' standards of beauty and the pressure I feel to conform to that.

My story begins when a family friend (obviously a male point of view) came to visit us whilst me and my family were on holiday where they reside and at first we got through the generic niceties and we sat down for lunch (fyi just coming from the beach, so I'm in my bikini and had just thrown on a summer dress as well) and as the waiter came to take our order for drinks I ordered an Iced Tea then the first comment this man said was 'oh good you didn't go for a fizzy drink you should lay off loads of sugar.' This first comment I let slip by and didn't think anything of it. Like any normal person when you haven't seen them for a while you start to catch up on things like your job, any new travels you've been on, friends etc. However, the first thing I was told was 'wow you've put on so much weight! you were much slimmer last year!' This full on stunned me! I mean who talks like this to any human being especially someone you don't even see on a regular basis so wouldn't even have that kind of open conversation with. The conversation continued to go on like this me being asked 'what medication am I on? do you have an overactive thyroid? Have you been to the doctors? In that moment I just wanted the floor to swallow me up, I felt completely humiliated and still stunned in this moment. At this point instead of calling him out on this rude comment, I did the worst thing possible...I started to make excuses for my weight - saying 'oh I've actually lost a couple of pounds & I've have been swimming more frequently and walking to work.' At this point, someone at the table could see my face sinking and quickly changed the course of the conversation and at this point I just sunk into my chair and retreated from all conversation. Going forward, as this was the first time this happened to me I was in shock but if it were to happen again, I won't let anyone treat me the way this person did as these type of people need to know the mental harm they can cause a person. 

The Bottom Line is that weight discrimination — including fat shaming — leads to stress and causes overweight and people with obesity to eat more. This form of bullying may not only cause additional weight gain but is also linked to depression, eating disorders, reduced self-esteem, and an increased risk of various other mental and physical problems. So to those in the back, think carefully about what you say, and save any well-meaning advice until it's asked for, basically.