How to Cope When Friendship Fades

Whether a friendship ends due to a nasty feud or it gradually falls away into nothing, figuring out how to cope and move forward with life can be difficult and painful. Although there are no one-size-fits-all solutions or quick fixes, here are a few ways you can help yourself heal and move on.

Talk about it.

Clear communication is always ideal, especially if you and your friend are unsure about where you each stand. If you want to restore the friendship, schedule a time to talk and be honest about the way you feel. Speak up if you are hurt and work together to find a solution, if possible. In some cases, it might just be time to end the friendship, so it’s important to be aware and open to that possibility too.

Ask yourself what you can learn from the relationship.

Every friendship serves a purpose, whether it was an incredible once-in-a-lifetime type friendship or a nightmare of an experience. Ask yourself what you’ve learned throughout the process? What do you know about yourself now that you previously didn’t? How can you be a better friend in the future? What are you looking for in a friendship?

Forgive yourself or your friend (or both).

When a good friendship fails, it’s rarely entirely the fault of one party or another. Recognizing that you and your friend are both imperfect people is a healthy way to begin forgiving yourself and them. While one of you may have been at fault, holding a grudge is only going to cause more hurt. In forgiveness, you’ll find growth and peace.

Give yourself time to grieve the friendship.

The hurt will fade with time and it’s okay to give yourself permission to feel all the things. Whether you’re angry, sad, lonely, or confused, just know that it’s okay to not be okay. Allowing yourself to feel your emotions and process them is an essential part of healing.

Find outlets for your feelings.

As you work through your emotions, it’s important to have outlets for them. For instance, if writing helps, start a journal or a private blog. Or express yourself with music, art, or yoga. Use whatever outlet you need to express your feelings healthily.

Focus on the other great friendships you have.

Sometimes, a friendship will just fizzle out, and that’s okay. Instead of getting bent out of shape about the loss and letting it overtake your happiness, choose to maintain a mindset of gratitude and focus on the other great friendships you do have. 

The pain you may feel from losing a friendship certainly does have the potential to hold you back from experiencing new, great friendships. However, coping in healthy ways can help you move forward, learn from the experience, and establish new friendships with time.