My 2019 - Looking Back in Retrospect
To me, every year seems like a new chapter, a new story in my life. When talking about certain years I go back to the certain moments that defined that specific year and in that moment I think of the happy and sad moments that time had gave me. When I look back at this year one word will enter my mind and that word will be Change. Never did I think that this year would have been a turning point in both my professional and personal life; both good however, they both bought new feelings, new worries, new opportunities and this scared me very much. I have learnt that I am capable of adapting to change, becoming more patient, more open and also the hardest thing of all; letting go. Overall it has been difficult with many challenges however, with perseverance, hope and patience I can see traits within myself that have made me become more stronger, mature and hopeful for the future. I have learnt I can't control what is going to happen as the saying goes you have to let the 'chips fall where they may' and then the important part is how you play the cards you have been dealt. The debate over whether people change is an interesting one for me to observe because it seems like all I ever do is change. All I ever do is learn from my mistakes so I don't make the same ones again. Then I make new ones. I know people can change because it happens to me little by little every day. Every day I wake up as someone slightly new.
In life, we grow up and we encounter the nuanced complexities of trying to figure out who to be, how to act, or how to be happy. Like invisible smoke in the room, we wonder what kind of anxiety pushes you forward and what kind ruins your ability to find joy in your life. We constantly question our choices, our surroundings, and we beat ourselves up for our mistakes. All the while, we crave romance. We long for those rare, enchanting moments when things just fall into place. Above all else, we really, really want our lives to be filled with love.
Going into this new decade, I hope to become braver and stronger. The past ten years has been a kaleidoscope of emotions, many people have come in and out of my life however I am grateful for the ones that stayed so in honor of fever dreams, bad boys, confessions of love on a drunken night out, Christmas lights still hanging in January, guitar string scars on my hands, false gods and blind faith, daydreaming of love at sunset, creaks in floorboards and ultraviolet morning light, finally finding a friend, and opening the curtains to see the clearest, brightest daylight after the darkest night here is to 2020 and whatever it may hold for me -- N
In life, we grow up and we encounter the nuanced complexities of trying to figure out who to be, how to act, or how to be happy. Like invisible smoke in the room, we wonder what kind of anxiety pushes you forward and what kind ruins your ability to find joy in your life. We constantly question our choices, our surroundings, and we beat ourselves up for our mistakes. All the while, we crave romance. We long for those rare, enchanting moments when things just fall into place. Above all else, we really, really want our lives to be filled with love.
Going into this new decade, I hope to become braver and stronger. The past ten years has been a kaleidoscope of emotions, many people have come in and out of my life however I am grateful for the ones that stayed so in honor of fever dreams, bad boys, confessions of love on a drunken night out, Christmas lights still hanging in January, guitar string scars on my hands, false gods and blind faith, daydreaming of love at sunset, creaks in floorboards and ultraviolet morning light, finally finding a friend, and opening the curtains to see the clearest, brightest daylight after the darkest night here is to 2020 and whatever it may hold for me -- N
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